Asking Saito
by diana2megr
Summary: A silly fic where Kaoru has something to ask Saito, but the whole world seems against her desired private tete-a-tete with Tokyo’s caustic inspector – especially the suspicious cast of the Kenshin-gumi. Set after jinchuu.


A Rurouni Kenshin fanfiction by d2m (diana2megr@yahoo.com)

Disclaimer: When zee look at zee spot all zee names of the ze-reyz' ownherz, etc. are prhe-a-zent in zee spayz. @@

Summary: Kaoru has something to ask Saito, but the whole world seems against her desired private tete-a-tete with Tokyo's caustic inspector – especially the suspicious cast of the Kenshin-_gumi_. Set after _jinchuu_.

*****

Asking Saito

The 1st Part: Where is Saito?

*****

Kenshin woke up in an instant. Some sort of strange sound was coming from within the _dojo_. Immediately wide awake and alert, the previously somnolent _rurouni _stood up to investigate its origins. Merging with the shadows, the former _hitokiri _stalked through the dojo's corridors like a lion in the veldt. Stealthily, he traced the noise straight into… Kaoru's room.

Worried, Kenshin skulked about at the door of the room. He was torn between fear and propriety, concern for Kaoru and also for his own skin. "This isn't good. _Sessha_ shouldn't disturb, Kaoru-_dono, _but…" His creative imagination could already see her possible reactions. The unpleasantness range from a flying _rurouni_ (and it's not due to any _hiten mitsurugi_ moves) to a human turnip in the backyard or even a squashed flatter than a pancake wanderer. The possibilities were limitless and none were either pretty or pleasant. Kenshin shivered at the graphic images his mind produced. It was a revelation of hell and that's saying a lot with all that he had seen and experienced already from during his _bakamatsu _days up to his wandering years and even before all that he supposed. 

"_Sessha _thinks he felt someone walking over his grave." 

The moans began to rise from within the closed doors. Strangely, so did the visions in his mind. Even more peculiarly the images supplied by his brain had began to change from the possible abuse he could receive to other more, shall we say, 'pleasant' ideas. 

Her soft whimpers became more and more like a sound of… frustrated longing than of any physical hurt. The soft feminine groans coiled within his mind, which readily supplied the answering masculine grunts, a reminiscence of his more than spotted past. Brothels and the like was not an unfamiliar area to a _hitokiri_ for more reasons than the average patron of such places would have. 

"Oro…" Kenshin softly whimpered beneath his breath as his rapidly overacting imagination cause his deliberately contained libido to skyrocket. Just because he had been a wanderer for ten years doesn't mean that he has forgotten all about that. He had been married after all… even if it was just such a very short time. Still, he remembered a lot more from the other _Ishins _dirty stories and then she said IT. He saw red. It was different from the previous moment's rising passion. She had said it in such a breathy voice too. He disappeared instantly. One moment, he was sweating in a painfully hard state in the corridors of the house and the next he was an icy fury inside her room. Eyes amber and narrowed, he whipped the door open and cried out her name without the usual polite suffix that he attaches. "KAORU?" 

Shocked into awareness, sleepy blue eyes blearily opened. "Kenshin?" Kaoru asked incredulously. "What are you doing here?"

"You…" Kenshin's mind had melted into a useless puddle of gooey like a splat of ice cream on the hot asphalt ground in a sweltering summer day. Kaoru's restless slumber had strategically disheveled her sleeping _yukata_. Even his blood didn't know to WHICH extremity to rush to. "_Orooooo…_" 

"Kenshin?" Kaoru asked in surprise at seeing the redhead's rapidly coloring face. She could almost feel the heat emanating from his cheeks as his face became indistinguishable from his hair. "What…" Her voice trailed off as her eyes finally followed the target of his swirling vision. Looking down, she saw miles and miles of pale milky skin as well as a lot of curves and other shapely -- shapes. 

"_HENTAI!!!"_

Quietly going about their business little birds of spring were roused off from their perches on the roof and on trees around the _dojo_. From within the house, an endless stream of a pained '_orooooo…' _could be heard.

***

Splash! Drip. Drip.

"_Oro_..." went a certain _rurouni. _"_Sessha_ takes a bath everyday, Sano. Sessha doesn't need to be bathed with tea." Kenshin chided the tall freeloader as he began to pat off the wet patches with a piece of rug he pulled of from an unseen pocket of space.

"She said WHAT?" Sano sputtered. 

The morose Kenshin repeated the name he heard her call out.

Plink! The sound of dripping water could be clearly heard.

Sano shook his head. "Creepy. Maybe she was having a nightmare about him?"

"Maybe she's in love with him." Yahiko gaffed at his own joke.

Sano gagged at the thought. He bumped Yahiko's head. "Did Kaoru cook breakfast again? Coz you seem to have lost your marbles, _gaki_!" 

Yahiko's retort was non-verbal, but Sano more than made up for it with his very vocal and colorful expressions of displeasure with the kid's action - having a kid gnawing at your head would do that to you…

"L, l, love?!" From the _rurouni_'s corner, utter silence followed this little pronouncement. It was immediately followed by a loud thud. 

The racket stopped as the fighters curiously eyed the floor's resident. 

"Kenshin! Ya alright?" Sano warily nudged the swirly-eyed redhead on the floor with a foot.

Yahiko snorted. "I was just joking, Kenshin. Everybody knows that Kaoru loves YOU. I mean." Yahiko continued. Disbelief and sincerity rang in his voice. "Who in their right mind would fall in love with that superannuated mangy wolf?"

Sano turned as white as a sheet as he suddenly remember another incomprehensible conversation. "His wife?"

Yahiko shuddered. "Still can't believe that HE's married."

The only thing that can be heard from the Kenshin-shaped doll on the floor was a moronic '_oro…_'

It was at this auspicious moment that the door slammed open.

A fiery goddess of vengeance stood in all her blazing glory at the entrance. "What's going on here?" Kaoru bellowed at the cringing denizens of her little _dojo_.

Sano sheepishly laughed. Hands warding off the inevitable common household items/projectiles of utter pain. "Nothing, _jouchan!_ Nothing at all!"

"Sano thought I was poisoned by your cooking, _busu!_" Yahiko elbowed Sano. "Isn't that right, Sano?"

Blue lasers were trained on the instantly fawning Sano. "I only meant that he might have choked on eating so much of your delicious food, _jouchan_. Surely you didn't think that I could mean anything as impossible as implying that you're a bad cook or something? What a preposterous idea!" If flattery and pretend innocence was Sano's tactics, then the resulting noise indicated a big fat red 'F' on that topic for him.

A few minutes later a fuming Kaoru slammed the _dojo_'s doors shut. She furiously stalked off the road with the accompaniment of groans of pain and the increasingly becoming annoying incessant _oro_'s of a certain _rurouni_ that came from within the walls of her house.

"Hmph! Serves them right! I work so hard and that's how they treat me?" Fury burned in a pair of baby blues. Kaoru arrested the sniffle that was trying to escape from her throat. "They'll see. I'm going to find Saito today even if it kills me!"

As Kaoru viciously ambled towards the police station, a duck quacked from the distance as it began its flight South. There maybe a more peaceful climate in the Pacific…

***

Meanwhile in a certain noodle stall, a tall smiling policeman sneezed. "It's such a hardship to be so popular." He sardonically commented to his tall blond lackey who was lackadaisically lounging at a nearby dark alley. Without waiting for a reply, he continued to slurp his favorite noodles as if the loud sneeze had never happened. Oblivious he remained to the upcoming storm that even the _Shinsengumi _code would not be able to help_._

__

Aku. Soku. Zan. It was a difficult philosophy to follow in the _Meiji _era, but a certain ex-_Shinsengumi_ continued to uphold such a bygone belief. 

__

Tsuzuku…


End file.
